MARRIAGE, the most complex relationship

The best thing about a female is that, though being the dominating partner, a female has mastered the art of making it appear to the male partner that actually it is he who controls the relationship and then we males are so foolish at times that we believe it blind folded, this is why we should never underestimate (take it in a lighter note) a woman, she is so intelligent in making man act like a puppet at times, controlling everything around us. Thus we have understood what we need in this era and that is space in a relationship. Without giving space you cannot be happy in a relationship. Here are some reasons why marriages fail:

•	You must have heard this term a lot of times that this marriage was a failure, or that marriage failed. But is it true, do marriages really fail. I believe no, it is not the marriage that fails, a relationship never fails, it is the people involved in that relationship that fail and then they do not have any other option except from claiming the relationship and pointing it as a failure, well what else can u expect from people who are losers themselves.
•	It has been said in the bible that god creates the perfect couples, he wants us to have a happy married life, but if we are not able to take our responsibilities then who is responsible for the failure, is it god or we the people. It is we who do not follow the right path and then when problem strikes we blame the relationship made by god. So the most common reason for a marriage breaking into nothing is lack of responsible behaviors shown by either the male partner or the female one.
•	The other most significant cause of marriage turning into failures is that we have started to put conditions on love. We have become so self-centered, that we do not care about the feelings of others and hence ultimately the other person leaves us. We give more importance o materialistic things then the feelings. It is the brand new car that is more important to us then a smile on the face of the partner. It is the party that attracts us more than the food made by our partner especially for us. All this has become a routine and hence finally when marriages break up, people then understand what went wrong.
•	Marriages fail (I contradict my own statement made earlier, that they do not, just for the sake of understanding) because you are not sure that the person whom you are with wants the same thing that you want. You do not even felt the urge of getting a counselor before getting married and then later you find that this is not the right person to be with or say get married with. Thus lack of counseling is also a very important and significant reason why marriages fail.

Now we know why people fail to lead a happy married life. For those who think that their relationship is also at the same stage, here are some good points to keep in mind and to save their marriage.

Open communication is the best way to remove any kind of misunderstanding in the marriage. The best thing in marriage is not to keep anything personal as far as your wife or spouse is concerned. Both of your should be open to each other. If there is anything that is bothering you inside yourself, then try to bring it out in front of your spouse instead of leading an uncomfortable life. Though you know your spouse to a large extent but there is still various aspects that you need to explore in your spouse. Thus it is advised to have a frank discussion on anything that bothers your relationship. Try to resolve each and every argument before you go to sleep, this is will help both of you in understanding the needs of each other without being judgmental about anything.

Apart from open communication, we should also learn to trust each other. One thing that you should keep in mind is that you can never police your spouse. You can never have the complete idea of what your partner is dong while he or she goes out to work. You cannot track your partner all the time, like a tracking device or can call them every minute where and what they are doing at that particular moment. You have to give them space and have to trust them in whatever they are doing. This tracking thing can eventually hamper your relationship and can ultimately lead to horrendous results which will not be good for you and your kids also. So it is better to learn how to trust your spouse rather than signing the divorce paper. This is not only unhealthy for a relationship but also unhealthy for your own self.

You should express your love for your partner. It is you who know that you love your partner, but he or she doesn’t, what I mean here is that you have to express your feelings across the border so that the partner can also feel the same thing which you want them to feel. Always keep in mind that it was love that was behind your marriage and now without it marriage can become useless.

You should respect the views and inputs that the partner brings in during any discussion. There might be times when you have a different view from your partner but then you have to take whatever your partner is trying to help you with without considering that it will be productive or not. Winning a discussion is not the important thing in a relationship, it is the learning and listening that holds the key to a healthy relationship. Thus it is advised that you should shut up when your partner is trying his or her best to help you in a matter that is alien for him or her too, you have to regard this thing from your heart.

You should take marriage as a commitment which you have to obey throughout your life; you have taken the oath to be faithful to your partner without anybody telling you to do so, so you must stick to that as a human being. Marriage is like a bond, everything you do affects your partner too, so being faithful is the most important thing that you should keep mind in a marriage. These were some of the facts that you should keep in mind to make your marriage a success. This can be an example for your kids to see that their parents had a great married life and they should also follow the footsteps to have the same.

One thing that is clear is that marriage is not about just two people living together, it is much more than that. It is the best thing that can ever happen to man and we should respect that. It is amazing to see how two people who never knew each other can live together just on the basis of one common feeling and that is love. Thus for the sake of love we have to be faithful to our partners and trust them for whatever they are doing. This is the only thing that remains alive even after we are dead, people remember us for what we are and hence we should set a good example for other to follow.